gifting differently

10 ways to think outside the box this holiday season

If you are looking for ways to resist the onslaught of spending, buying, dollar-sucking craziness that is the holiday season, I am WITH you. It can be so exhausting to be screamed at from every corner of the internet and television and socials and phones that you need to give MORE. But often, we are just craving the feeling of giving something that our loved ones will treasure. 

With a two year old myself, it can be so tempting to fall into the trap of getting the newest trendy toys and clothes, but at the end of the day, he often opts for the packaging something came in, or a utensil out of a kitchen drawer. 

For me, it took a slow down like COVID to really assess my own habits and values related to consumption. This is when I looked more closely at my buying, and how it connects with the environment, the local economy and its people, and the marketing manipulation that can go into buying. 

Over time, I have shifted to buying for myself and family almost exclusively secondhand for things like clothes, toys, books, and household decor. I keep a list in my phone of what I am on the hunt for and truly need, which makes it that much more exciting when I find the perfect fit. 

No, I am definitely not perfect. Once in a while, I can’t find what I need in time, such as a swimming suit that fits my growing baby when we are leaving for a vacation, or a very specific embroidery hoop for making mini ornaments. Then, I begrudgingly go to Amazon or another store that carries it. No one can do it all. BUT, I do believe that we can all take steps to consume more mindfully, and how we give is part of that. 

media intake

My first tip, which is more so mental than anything, is to avoid being a target to ads in the first place. This is where we often fall into thinking that our kids or family NEED something because we’ve come across it again and again. Limiting the time I’m on social media - I’ll get to how I do that later - and muting ads when watching TV are a few of the ways I mindfully shut out the loud noise of overconsumption. 

plan ahead

When we do buy for others, thoughtful and intentional giving can help us not only save money but feel more satisfied with what we are giving. Rather than just reaching for the Amazon or Target mailer with the holiday gift guide, take time to reflect on who the person you are giving is. I take notes throughout the year on my Google Keep app with a running list of gift ideas. That way if I find something while thrifting or at a garage sale, even if it’s not Christmas I can tuck it away for the holiday season. 

While the ideas below may have you buying something physical, they lead you away from big box stores and Amazon and point you more in the direction of small businesses, makers, and secondhand. If we all did more of this, think of the impact we could have collectively! Your dollars ARE power, and how you use them is part of your vote for the world you want. 

physical media

I don’t think books will ever be off my list. Ugh. I love books. BUT. Not all book purchases are created equal. You can save TONS of money by searching for your books secondhand. I adore the website Better World Books (versus Amazon, for example). Books are often a third of the price, come in great condition, and your purchases support donations to communities as well as giving you the option to round up to support programs like Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library (free books delivered to families) and a sustainability fund. The downfall? Shipping takes 1-2 weeks instead of 2 days. Personally, I can wait. 

I also recently came across the podcast vic in the meadow (@vicinthemeadow on socials), and listened to her episode “un-digitizing my life.” She talks about relying less on our phone as much as possible to limit our own distraction, and one of the ways to do that is by choosing physical media - records, CDs, DVDs. 

Last year I got a record player, and I’ve found it makes such a difference to play music on something other than my phone. If I want to change the music, I don’t get distracted by a text or email. My son loves it too, and regularly asks for Nat King Cole or The Fox in the Hound, an audio version of the movie. Soon, he’ll be able to put those records on himself, without relying on me and my phone to do that. I’m contemplating a CD player as well for another low-stakes way for him to listen to music or audiobooks independently. 

I’ll add it to my thrift list.    

passions

Paying attention to the passion projects of those around you, and the ideas they have floating around might lead you to some out of the box ideas.  For the person wanting to learn how to embroider - try out something simple like a Stick and Stitch Pattern on my Etsy Shop.  Maybe you find a Facebook marketplace materials destash for an artist, and swoop it up for the artsy person in your life. 

An instrument or music book for the musician.  Patterns for the fiber arts.  A cooking class for the chef.

This year I’ve been eyeing patterns (here’s to looking at you Syd Graham Patterns), things I normally wouldn’t buy myself but if I received as a gift, would be so excited to make. It might not feel like a physical gift (in some cases, patterns or music books are digital), but it gives them so much more - an ongoing experience they love that continues to build their passion! 

handmade/small business

This year is very much a handmade Christmas for me. If I can make it, I’m trying. I have lists of sweatshirts I’m making, for littles and bigs, custom embroidery, bookmarks, blankets, pouches, ornaments. Speaking as of today, I think I bit off more than I can chew, but I haven’t given up yet. 

If handmade is not an option due to time restraints, think about how to support someone who is making by hand, small business or makers you can find locally, who can help you fulfill the idea you have. 

I am making some variations of the quilted sweatshirts, which are so much fun to make. For booklovers, I'm choosing fabrics to make corner bookmarks, currently my favorite type of bookmark (grab your own here or follow this tutorial to make your own!). Handmade ornaments can be a sweet gift for the little ones in your life. My holiday stick & stitch embroidery pack can be a great starting point for a personalized ornament.

dates or experiences

One way I love to build relationships during the holidays is by planning an experience or date for loved ones as their gift. 

Recently, I gave a thrift date to my SIL so we could go shopping together and pick out some pieces - time together, plus a gift that ended up with something she wanted! We picked out an outfit that she rocked, and got to hang out in a way we might not have otherwise. 

For nieces and nephews or other special little pals in your life, simple experiences can be the basis for fun time together. Often it doesn’t matter WHAT you’re doing, but rather your undivided attention is the gift. We usually do this one nephew or niece at a time so that they all get their own special time. We’ve done froyo, the library, a jump park, an air zoo, and local community events.

Some years, my husband and I decide not to do physical gifts, and instead plan a trip. One of the years we planned to go to Spain, Italy and Greece, but unfortunate circumstances stopped that from actually happening (that’s another story). But, travel insurance meant we weren’t out much. Other years we have gone to Florida to visit friends, Miami for a babymoon, and South Padre Island in Texas. Never once did we regret taking a trip over giving physical gifts. 

photo books or gifts

Photos in many different forms can be such a meaningful gift as well. 

I love to make books for my son that are based on his previous year of life. His first Christmas, I made a book with all of his family members so he could start to recognize faces and names. This year I'm planning to model a book after one of his favorites, but write it about him and add in pictures from the year.

I’ve also added embroidery to photos. I love to print through the website Mpix using their fine art paper, carefully embroider added details, and then gift an heirloom item. This is something I also offer in my Etsy shop.

Our library has a MakerSpace where you can use equipment for free, often just paying a small fee for the materials you use. They have a magnet maker, so making sweet personalized magnets for grandparents, cousins and friends is a cheap and easy way to add a meaningful touch to your gift. 

One year, I took time to digitize my parents’ wedding photos (our library also has a super fast photo scanner; I am in love with my library and I’m proud). Something that saves time can be a gift to others, even if it doesn’t cost you a thing.

learning & courses

This might be the teacher in me, but I constantly love to learn and look for ways to capture the opportunities for my loved ones to learn about something that interests them. Whether it’s learning a new skill, a language, a new form of movement, or taking a course, this is something I think about when gifting as well. 

So many crafty people on the internet offer courses for their techniques that you can enroll in (one day I hope to join their forces!). Maybe your partner is hoping to start a business, and wants to build their bookkeeping skills - find them a digital course online! 

My bestie has been wanting to try pottery out for YEARS. If I had limitless dollars, I would sign her up for a pottery class. Maybe there’s a short-term class we could do instead (look away, bestie, if you’re reading this). 

memberships & subscriptions

Spread out your love year round with a membership or a subscription. 

It might be a physical subscription, like a coffee box or book of the month or something digital, like an app or a website extra access subscription. 

I have two that I've loved this past year. 

My mom and I have been doing a Block of the Month club for quilting. This year we did Sweet Potato Quilt Co’s BOM 2025 Party. We have kept in touch all year about our progress and will *hopefully* have a finished quilt top by the end of the year. For next year I'm looking at eudaimonia studio or repeating Sweet Potato Quilt Co. Below are some of the quilt blocks I made throughout the year.

I "gifted" myself the paid subscription to the app Be Present, which blocks time on any apps I choose. It is the most effective thing I've found so far to stop mindlessly scrolling. So far I’m on a 78 day streak of opening Instagram 5 or less times a day, with only 5 minutes each time I open it. This has 100% been worth the money. If you know anyone who is looking to reclaim some of their time instead of spending it all staring at a tiny screen, this would be a fabulous gift. 

thrifted theme baskets

Putting together a thoughtfully curated themed baskets from thrifted goods can be so much fun to give. These have been on my feed for a while, and last year I tried out the idea for white elephant gifts. 

I found a set of margarita glasses, a nice basket, and added in the mix and tequila. It was traded a few times, and eventually went home with a proud owner. Another gift set had several like new board games together. 

When thrifting a gift, I know there are different levels of comfort with secondhand items. I try to look for like new condition when gifting, and thoroughly clean and sanitize before giving. But I love to do it, often bringing together a unique gift at a fraction of the price. 

and…

The aim of this post isn’t to leave you feeling overwhelmed or guilty if this feels outside of your capacity right now. It is simply to get your creative juices flowing and to think about moving away from big box stores that are marketing physical things as if they are a must have. Slow down, think about the people in your life, and observe. It might feel strange at first or throw off the gift-giving culture in your circles, but our society consumes so much. It takes all of us beginning to make changes, beginning to shift cultures so that we see a different way. 

The way you consume DOES matter, and the way you give can become more special, less expensive, and more intentional when you pause.